Just when I thought it couldn't get better, it did. I returned last night from a 5-day visit to my mother, to celebrate her 89th birthday. It was just last November at Integrity that I said to John through my tears, "If I had thought that coming to Avatar would mean that I'd have to spend more time with my mother, I would not have come." This was after owning my part in a very hurtful interchange that I had recently had with her.
During the visit that I just concluded, I did several things differently. First, I went with the intention of being compassionate and helping her enjoy her birthday. Secondly, I called another Avatar master, a Jr. AI, for help on about the 2nd day when I was getting short of patience. She reminded me of doing Label-Its #5. This was a big turning point. I began doing Label-Its #4 on everything. Oh, that's complaining. Oh, that's judgment. And so on. When I was jogging and saw a woman spraying Round-up on her grass, I practiced Creating No Response rather than stopping to lecture her on nontoxic ways to kill her invisible (to me) weeds.
So, the Label-Its practice helped me to resist who my mother is less and less.
Then, on Saturday morning, near the end of an intense cycling workout, I got it. Another big epiphany. I felt suddenly how my mother being who she is has allowed me to do the spiritual growth work that I have done. I felt how I owe her everything. She is unwavering in being who she is, no matter how many times I butt my head against her rock solidness and want her to change and lose some of the characteristics that I detest. Her solidity has provided me with a launching pad for my own expansion.
I was able to complete the last1½ days in harmony and with more compassion than I have ever been able to muster at that stage of a visit with her. We had a great farewell, without the histrionics I have come to expect and of course have helped create. I entered the airport in good shape - relaxed, not stressed, not resentful and angry, but rather grateful for this different way of being with my mom. I have known intellectually that her long life was a blessing for me. Now I feel it. Perhaps I will have the chance to create more loving interchanges with her in the coming time. If not, the healing I know we both experienced this weekend is irreplaceable and beyond measure.
Thank you Harry for the Avatar materials and the tools and the network of wondrous beings who help me put them into practice. My expectations have been met and quadrupled and quadrupled again. I am so grateful.