I have wanted to share the following story with you since my trip to Hawaii for my Son's funeral. I finally created enough time and space in consciousness to do it. I really want you to know how much your work and life has made my life's most challenging issues so "doable".
I am often amazed at how powerful the exercises from ReSurfacing are in changing life's experiences. This time it was the Compassion exercise and the Compassion Project especially. Although this exercise is one of the first tools learned on the Avatar path, the effects are profound in regards to "shape-shifting" experiences. I have realized how important it is to have compassion in life and death.
My 36 year old son, David, recently died in a motorcycle accident on a borrowed racing bike. He was loved by many people and the loss of his presence was devastating to family and friends. I repeatedly used the Compassion card and did the exercise on the plane ride to Hawaii. Several times people and flight attendants, noticing my strong emotions, asked if they could help somehow and also wondered aloud what I was reading. After thanking them, I told them my story and how this exercise was already helping me. I gave them all cards to use in their life also.
As I rejoined family in Hawaii I could feel the suffering and even anger, especially for others that were involved with his accident and death. Some of the family felt the individuals should be made to pay, to suffer for their involvement. That somehow, because we loved David so much, we needed to punish these people, or perhaps at least frighten them by showing at their door up as a group of large angry Hawaiian males bent on restitution. Prior to my Avatar training I would have likely agreed.
Using appreciation for my families feelings, and other tools I learned from you as I became an Avatar Master, I was able to shift their attention back to how much they loved him, how strong willed he was and to understand his responsibility for the accident also. I reminded them the people involved knew of our sadness, even knew the likely desire for revenge we felt and also their own involvement in his death. How they would carry that burden always without us doing anything "to" them. Reminding them all how much love we felt for David, how I believed he had now changed but not really stopped "being", I recited them the line from ReSurfacing "Love is an expression of the willingness to create space in which something is allowed to change." I could see and feel the group change viewpoints and the anger turned to tears of love. One of the family still felt some anger, so I asked him to place attention on the man that he was blaming and I read him the exercise. As I finished he sighed deeply and was visibly affected.
Later we were able to peacefully, as a family in loss, go to the shop where the accident happened, where the man had lent him the bike, and where my son had done the work he loved so much. My youngest Son shared how he repeated " just like me" to himself many times that day and how it worked every time. The beautiful range of intense emotions, of all types, expressed by everyone that day will stay with me forever. Thank you.
As the services where prepared that week I needed to use the compassion exercise many times, often towards family members acting in the sometimes "less than ideal" ways people act when they are suffering and I felt relief every time. It did create space in me that allowed the other people to change, become closer, and relationships were healed.
I will always feel the pain of my Sons death. But, thanks to these tools, I have discovered the suffering part was optional. I was able to experience this all with an inner peace that I know helped others and led us away from many negative possible realities we could either create or not. Instead I was able to fully experience it all, as I raised the compassion level in myself and many others. I cannot express the depth of my gratitude to you for empowering me to create so deliberately the love and honor this event deserved. With love, your friend for life and beyond,
Dale Sims- USA